I am a very pale individual. There just isn’t any other way to put that. If I don’t wear makeup, people ask me if I’m sick. If I walk outside for more than 3 minutes, I practically burst into flames. I have tried every self-tanner on the market and could give you a review of each right now. I have a really hard time flying. I’m just very pale, and that’s ok. I’ve learned to live with it.
However, the world has not.
Why, oh why is it so hard to buy makeup when your skin is practically see-through?
I wear basically white wall spackle to cover up my dark eyes, purple undertones, and bright red blemishes. Seriously, it’s a stick of white putty, and God Bless the Casper wannabe at Maybelline who created this beautiful invention because I need it.
It’s not easy to find, though. I went an entire month scraping out the bottom of the tube with a bobby pin and my pinky nail because I was out and couldn’t find it. I looked all over the state of Georgia. I looked in all the usual places. I looked in every city I visited for work. I looked everywhere.
I finally found it at a Walmart in the scary part of town. I had five tubes right there for the taking and I bought all five. The woman who checked me out told me that if I wanted to request for them to hold future orders for me, they would because she was sure nobody would need them.
Then the woman behind me asked if I was going for a Queen Elsa look. Her granddaughter loved Queen Elsa and wanted to know if I did too and that’s why I used white makeup.
Life is weird, but the bright side is I have an infinite supply of white spackle and I look like Queen Elsa.