Happy Wednesday! We are getting super real today. Like inner dark secret fortress real… Can you take the heat? I’m opening the Pandora’s box of products and sharing all the ones I use, but don’t tell people about. These are “the unmentionables.” The products that Stephen had no idea I used until after we had been dating five years and I tricked him into marrying me. Kidding. Kind of…
It’s not that dramatic, but these are the necessary products I use that are the opposite of glamorous. Without them I would look and smell like a miniature troll or a mangy dog, so they definitely serve their purpose.
First up, I have a twinge of hyperhidrosis. I remember it clear as day, I was at my best friend’s house in Middle School and we had choreographed a dance to “Slave 4 U” by Britney Spears. We had perfected every twirl and hair flip, when I had to go to the bathroom. There it was in the mirror… my first underarm pit stain. That was only the beginning though. One time I went on a date and was so nervous I looked like I went swimming. I was just a bit sweaty growing up. While it’s gotten better as I have gotten older, I still get a tsunami every once and awhile.
Enter Certain Dri. This product CHANGED MY LIFE when I was 14 and I still use it 12 years later. I apply it every 72-ish hours and don’t sweat at all. Disclaimer: it burns a little when applying, but I literally couldn’t care less. No pain, no gain.
Ok, not too bad so far. What’s next?
Tinkles. Tinkles are next. Yep, I shave my face. I’m not talking Barbasol shaving cream and a straight razor, I don’t have a full beard. However, I can’t stand those OBNOXIOUS blonde hairs near my ears and jawline. They are too fine to properly wax and quite honestly I don’t like cursing out my esthetician, so I take ’em out with a Tinkle. I used to use one of those as seen on TV light up wand things, but the Tinkle is SO much better.
I’ve seen other bloggers pushing these recently, so if you’re thinking of taking the plunge and have any questions, feel free to reach out–email@example.com. Here are a few answers to questions you may have though: no, my hair doesn’t grow back thicker or darker, those stupid blonde baby fine hairs come right back. No, it doesn’t hurt and I don’t get razor burn–I shave dry and always use a new one and have never had a problem.
Also, since I started, my make-up has never looked better. It’s not for everyone, but I only like hair on my head and my eyebrows so it works for me.
Alright, we’re on a roll. Up next, let’s talk about feet.
My feet STINK in the winter. They just do. I’m so cold that I just stuff my feet into boots and leave them there basically all winter. When I do finally let them out, they do not smell good. So I use this peppermint and tea tree Elite Foot Spray.
It’s made for athletes who actually sweat in their shoes rather than white girls who just like Peppermint Mochas and winter boots, but nonetheless, it works really well and my feet are far less stinky. I use it in my tenni-pumps, my regular pumps, my boots, whatever!
Ok, next. I stepped on a sea urchin a few years ago. I walked around for over a year with a dull pain in my heel before I finally went to the doctor and found out the damn thing was still in there. After a lot of sessions with my dermatologist, I finally got it out the week before my wedding.
While I was getting my sessions of urchin removal (there is no official term for this, btw), my doctor recommended an Electric Foot Filee to keep the skin from growing back around it.
I fell in love with this thing. I would rub my whole body with it if that wasn’t weird. It removed not only the urchin skin, but any rough or dry patches and made my feet feel amazing! It feels like a fresh pedicure every day. I was a ballet dancer back in the day and my feet still show some of the effects of standing on your tippy-toes for days at a time, and this thing even removes those imperfections. I love it!
Alright, I didn’t even take a picture of this next one, mostly because you don’t really need to see a picture of my toilet. I use a Squatty Potty . I don’t need to share a lot of details about this, but let’s just say I feel a lot healthier and skinnier since I bought one. If you have been thinking about purchasing one, take the plunge ;).
Ok, last but not least, let’s talk about blackheads.
They suck. I’ve been self conscious about them my since middle school. A stupid boy told me I had them on my nose and I never really got over it. I usually just use a scrub of some kind, but I discovered these Biore Charcoal Strips last year by getting a free sample in a magazine and never looked back. Charcoal products are my jam. I like being able to see my products working, and when you remove these strips you can see your blackheads clearly on the strip. My nose is always smooth and ready for highlighter!
Alright, we made it! You now know I’m sweaty, stinky and hairy without my favorite products. (Sidenote: weren’t those the names of Casper the friendly ghost’s uncles?) Luckily, the beauty industry has given us the tools and products to prevent these unfortunate flaws.
What are your favorite unmentionable products?
*Post contains affiliate links.